Rintihan Si Tangga

aku benci semua
kerana aku benci sekelompok

aku sering tertanya diri
patutkah aku menghirau
nasib engkau
yang aku tidak kenal
yang aku tidak kisah
seorang lagi mangsa
gerakan anti-sosial aku kini

aku benci semua
kerana kawan aku pula
bercerita sedih
“aku manusia baik
kenapa masih ada membenci?”
aku mengangguk faham
tuntas,
aku benci semua

aku benci semua
kerana aku hanya bermesra
dengan tunggul-tunggul kayu
yang mempunyai senyuman
lukisan semata-mata
perhiasan sahaja
lukis bila perlu
padam bila perlu

mahukah aku ambil pisau
dan ukir tepat
senyuman itu?
biar mudah
biar padah

nyah, engkau
lari berkeliaran, engkau

aku hanya suatu tangga
yang dipijak henyak
untuk mencapai
cita-cita mu
yang tak mungkin tercapai


Written in April 2009, Kajang.

Oh you know, teen angst. Funnily enough, I checked the date and realised I wrote this a day after my birthday. Honestly, what happened to warrant such a depressing poem right after my birthday? Even more puzzling, I wrote this in reference to the poem: “To my friend, who called me yesterday and experienced a mishap involving a refrigerator, you somewhat inspired this piece“. Can’t recall the friend nor the unfortunate event with the fridge but I can assure you, this poem has nothing to do with fridges.

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