So, here I am in this cafe, eating overpriced food while sitting with my laptop on and trying to come up with a decent narrative.
Tonight is the deadline for UnRepresented KL’s last draft assignment. So far, I have clocked in 350 words. The word count target is about ten times more than that. To be fair, I have been quite busy these past few days and I may have scrapped the entire draft that I’ve been working on for the past month. Am I insane? Possibly. This is not the first time where I abandon something out of frustration.
So, not only will my writing group get a possibly mediocre attempt of writing from me tonight, they will also receive something completely different from what they’ve been reading all this while. No pressure.
I think the problem here is I have an idea but I don’t know how to present it. When you’re in a writing programme, it’s not as simple as putting something on a plate and being proud of that accomplishment. You really have to have a go at it a million times. And then have different people feast on your creation, tease the meat apart and ask you “Are you happy with it?” in such a way that makes you question whether you have any talent at all.
Since this will be the last session of the group, I’m scared of leaving with negative comments. And then, it’s just a freefall from here because all I have is a handful of friends and myself. And I don’t know if I’m a good judge of quality when it comes to my own work.
I think I’m just stuck to one thing that they’ve been repeating about for the past few weeks now: What are you trying to say? Why does it have to be you to say it?
Well, I don’t know. I was there?